Rock-n-Roll...or Rockbottom?
How to break a bad cycle on repeat
The Sober Shaman's Path of Recovery starts with three principles:
Addiction affects the whole person.
Addiction is a cycle.
Addiction impacts every close relationship in our lives.
Last week, we covered Principle 1 and why your recovery journey is unique:
Today, we’re looking at Principle 2 and why—even in your uniqueness—addiction is predictable. I’ll also share personal examples from my rock-n-roll days.
Principle 2: Addiction is a cycle.
While not everyone’s recovery will look the same, there are universal, predictable cycles at play. Whatever your drug of choice, these cycles are easy to spot and predict.
Seeing and naming them is healing. It offers a wider lens and takes us out of denial and towards breaking a painful cycle on repeat.
It’s also what makes addiction 100-percent treatable (by “treatable,” I mean getting you out of that cycle).
While many treatment approaches acknowledge that addiction is a cycle, they usually leave it there. Meaning, they don’t chart the trajectory of that cycle…or how to break it.
Good news is, deeper insights are are all around and within! The cycle of addiction follows the cycles of Nature. Addiction is predictable because it’s natural.
As a shamanic practitioner and Chinese Medicine doctor, I draw on this time-tested wisdom to understand where a person is in the cycle of addiction—and the best place to step out of it and into something original.
Here are the basics:
The cycle of addiction follows five phases.
These five phases arise from—and parallel—the elementals and energetics of Nature.
The phases aren’t “bad” in and of themselves. The harmful part arises from how they manifest in addiction.
These phases are part of a system of medicine practiced and proven over more than 5,000 years.
Hold all that in mind (along with this snapshot) as you read what’s below.
Five Phases
Let’s take the five phases one by one, with examples of how they manifested for me, on my road to recovery.
Water
This is the Hidden Phase. We can think of it as the underlying beliefs at the core of addiction. They are the internalized messages imprinted onto our belief system as a result of trauma, abuse, heartbreak, or loss.
In my work with self and others, I find identifying, acknowledging, listening to, and addressing these beliefs essential for long-term sobriety.
For example: My core beliefs were: “I’m not enough,” and “I’m not deserving of love.”
These beliefs are as universal and old as heartbreak itself.
Wood
This is the Planning Phase. The “plan” includes conscious aspects (how to get your drug of choice, for instance) and subconscious aspects (how to “fix” your underlying beliefs and fill the hole of those beliefs).
The root trauma, abuse, heartbreak, or loss…the internalized beliefs…and the “plan” to fix them are part of a universal pattern and predictable cycle.
For example: If “I’m not enough” and “not deserving of love,” I will make a plan to “be enough” and “be deserving.” For me, this took the form of “making it in music.” It was the 80s, everybody had a band, and while the odds were not in our favor, that didn’t matter because…
At this phase, the drive to “fix” the underlying beliefs overrides logic and whether something is a good idea.
My subconscious plan was that “making it in music” would bring accolades and success that would make me “enough” and “deserving of love.” (After all, people who “made it in music” sure acted as though they were enough and deserving!)
Meanwhile, while working towards “making it in music,” my conscious plan was to find immediate relief: Let’s “get some stuff” to numb the pain, distract the thoughts, and quiet the voices emanating from those beliefs—and let’s do it now.
Fire
This is the Acquisition Phase, when we act on the plan and get ahold of our drug of choice.
For example: If I’m going to make it in music, I’d better get busy!
On the one hand, this led me to engage in dedicated practice, acquire the tools, and get a band (made up of people who generally had the same types of plans to “fix” their own wounded beliefs.)
Meanwhile, there was the concurrent acquisition of “stuff” (i.e., alcohol and other drugs) to make the upcoming gig “all it could be.” But that gig’s a little ways away…so let’s get some for while we’re practicing—you know, to give a little oomph to our effort.
Earth
This is the Using Phase, when we partake in or commune with our drug of choice.
For example: Back in the 80s, for me, this meant Show Time—performing in a big gig and making my dream a reality.
It encompassed consummation of the plan, connection to my band, being in community with the audience, and being in communion with “my stuff” (ingested before, during, and after, because I deserve it.)
Metal
This is the Reinforcement, or Aftermath, Phase, when all that planning, acquisition, and partaking land us back where we started—only worse.
For example: No surprise that music gigs didn’t deliver the real fix I was seeking, change my limiting beliefs, or solve my underlying wounds.
While performing may have moved us a step closer to “making it” (especially if there were record label folks in the audience who liked what we did), there was no “boom—we’ve made it” moment. Most of the time, I felt even further from the dream once the gig was over (both because of drug use, and because those record label folks would “red flag” us for obvious ingestion and usage.)
So, if all that planning, practicing, and performing didn’t fix it—and the dream felt further rather than closer—what do you think I reached for next? How do you think I tried to make myself feel better?
Caught in the cycle, where are we headed?
Looking at the cycle as a whole, where does it lead? Maybe something like…
You know what? After all that, maybe I’m really just not enough. Maybe I’m truly not deserving of love. Maybe those original beliefs and their shaming, blaming voices are right!
In other words, without changing course, we’re planting seeds for the next round of a painful record on repeat.
And, while it’s the same cycle, it gains increasing strength and becomes increasingly destructive. This is because, with each round, I prove my limiting beliefs true. They aren’t just beliefs anymore. Now, they’re reality—which feels even worse.
So, we’re off for another round…which can never and will never yield different outcomes.
Where to from here? How do we get out?
Everyone in active addiction follows this same, predictable cycle. The five phases are universal and predictable. Good news is, this makes addiction treatable!
In The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery, the four medicines we covered last post are woven into each lesson—both as teachings and exercises.
We use Medicine Journeys and Shamanic wRites in each phase.
We apply your medicine in each phase (Awareness, Experience, Connection, and Practice).
We find the phase where your addiction is weakest and break the cycle there.
We find the phase where you are your strongest and leverage your strengths.
We continue applying all four medicines in each phase to support your ongoing growth and reinforce your new cycles of manifestation, health, and abundance in recovery.
Each phase offers material to work with, and we explore this material through a series of corresponding journeys. Each also provides its own brand of the four medicines. Here’s the line-up of lessons for each phase:
Water: What’s Hidden?
Belief vs. Reality: Which Is Stronger?
The Power of Surrender
The Lake of Fear
The Power of Dreams
A Shamanic View of Illness
Wood: The Plan in Motion
Movement Is Medicine
Qi: Hold the Ball
Belief vs. Desire
Discipline vs. Creativity
The Power of “No!”
Fire: Let’s Get It!
The Fire of Desire
Roll the Dice
The Hero’s Journey
Soul Courting: Part 1
Soul Courting: Part 2
Earth: It’s Time.
Mother and the Divine Feminine
Communion: Through Her Eyes
The Perfect Home
Communion: Nurturance
Metal: Now What?
Empty Your Cup: The Story of the Two Brothers
Addicted to Your Story
Forgiveness: Others
Forgiveness: Self
Grief
Capacity
Water 2: Around We Go Again…
Inheritance
Secrets
Our Enemy
Your Family Tree
Ancestors
If you want a more felt idea of what the Program looks like and how it works, here’s a Free Preview.
Also stop by next week, when we’ll cover Principle 3: Addiction impacts every close relationship in our lives.
Meanwhile, what’s your favorite song for today? And where do you get caught in a bad cycle (or record!) on repeat? Share or ask questions in the comments!
Also feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com. I’d love to hear about you and your journey.
With All Good Medicine,
Randy
Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr.
, who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .
Love me some good quit lit!!! Thank you
I think I just found my new favorite substack! Maybe we can have you on our podcast, Recovery Rocks where we talk about Recovery and Rock n Roll!